Sometimes I wake up with the gentle whispers of the Holy Spirit.  Today was not one of those mornings.

Sunlight filtered through the wooden blinds in my room and my eyes opened slowly, hesitant to leave the comfort of sleep.  I peeled the covers from my person, pushing myself to the edge of my bed.

And that’s when I heard him.  It’s like he was waiting for me to wake up.  Crouched in the corner, watching me sleep.  Just itching for that moment when the mind becomes alert and awake.

My feet padded down wooden hallway floors.  “Ignore him,” I said to myself.

Except that it’s really hard to ignore a shouting voice.

And that’s what it felt like, my friend.  Why are lies so loud?

The enemy never really surprises me anymore.  I’ve known him a long time and he’s cunning and crafty…creative even.  I remember the first time I felt the darkness of his presence…I was just a little girl, but I knew who he was.

Attack and retreat.  Or attack and attack.  I’ve seen him do both in my life.  Lately, it feels like attack and attack.  Again-I’m not surprised.

His lies are specific.  It’s how I know it’s him.  So, this morning he decides to yell at me.  At first, just one word: “FORGETTABLE.”  It pierces the ears of my heart and I shake my head.  I’ve heard this one before.  But I hear it again…and again…it must be on repeat today.

And then he starts to remind me of just how “forgettable” I am.  My deepest insecurities start to surface until I wonder if he’s right.

Now-I don’t invite you into my conversation with the enemy so you’ll speak Truth to me.  That’s not the point of my writing today.  In fact, I almost didn’t publish this because I wondered if people would think I was manipulating affirmation.

I write because I know I’m not the only one.  I can’t be.  You hear his lies too, don’t you?  And we want to fight back.  We may even get in the stance-the warrior stance.  We bend down to pick up our swords and our arms drop with the heaviness of its weight.  Some days we feel weak…and speechless.

Exodus 14:14 KJV

“The LORD shall fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace.”

I don’t make it a habit to read from the King James Version.  My grandfather used to preach from this translation-I got lost in the language then and I get lost in the language now.  However…I love how it says the last four words: “Ye shall hold your peace.”

Traditionally, “holding your peace” means keeping your mouth shut.  By definition, it means, “to remain silent.”  If you search Exodus 14:14 on Bible Hub, you’ll see the first half of this verse is pretty consistent among all other translations.  But the last few words are, ‘be quiet…be still…be silent…remain calm.’

When I read this scripture this morning, the Lord gave me a different picture of what it looks like to ‘hold your peace.’

I got the picture of myself as a little girl.  My eyes were closed and I was holding a stuffed animal close to my chest.  It seems random, I know.  But children hug their teddy bears…especially when they’re afraid or sad.  Even now at 37, I need to hold onto something-even if it’s just a pillow-when I sleep.

Peace brings comfort and deep breath.  Peace calms me down and quiets my heart so I can hear the voice of Truth once again.