I pressed the pages of my journal together, closed my eyes, and smiled.  Gratitude rose in  my heart as I reflected on my time with the Lord.  Content to move on with my day, I exchanged phone for pen and pulled up the latest social media feed.

And my heart sank.

I won’t tell you what caused the smile to vanish from my face…because it doesn’t matter.  I will say that it involved old-fashioned jealousy stemming from old-fashioned comparison.  It suddenly occurred to me just how quickly my contentment vanished-the moment I saw someone living the life I wanted to live, the fulfillment I felt just minutes before with the Lord seemed to dissipate into thin air.  Poof.  Gone.

I felt the Lord begin to deal with my heart right then and there.  Asking me to remove the idol of comparison from my life and stop looking at the lives of others.

“But Lord,” I argued….and thus listed the reasons why I needed to be commenting and “liking” the posts of my friends.  And the scripture about “obedience being better than sacrifice” (1 Samuel 15:22) came to mind.

He always calls us to obedience doesn’t He?  Though not in the cruel, disciplinarian way we may think.  No…  Our Heavenly Father asks us to listen and do what He says because He knows what is best for us.     

So I vowed to submit-though somewhat begrudgingly.  And aside from a few postings of my own, have all but ceased the scroll.  Here’s what I’ve noticed:

-When I have a moment of free time, I automatically reach for my phone.  As if it were an instinct or reflex.  When did this happen?!

-I have more free time than I thought I did.  Just how much time was I spending on Facebook and Instagram??  A frightening thought…

-I feel less stressed overall.  Contribute this to what you will…I have to believe this cease and desist has something to do with it.

-I feel more content with my life as it is.  And this is a no-brainer…I believe it was Theodore Roosevelt who said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.”  Right you are Teddy…right you are.

I could go on, but I think you get it.  And please hear me…this is not meant to be a tirade against anyone but myself.  There’s nothing wrong with social media, if used appropriately.  It can actually be a really good thing.  There’s an almost magic there-connecting friends, new and old….dissemination of information…heck, there are even opportunities to shop.  Good things.

But in my case dear reader, I needed and still need to keep my eyes on my own paper, so to speak.  There may be a time I feel released to re-join the social media world as I’ve known (and inhabited) it.  Or this may be it for me.

One thing I know…joy is a gift.  A gift I would really like to hang onto.  So maybe it’s worth putting the phone down or turning the computer off.  And once our eyes aren’t glued to what’s happening to the people around us, perhaps we could see-really see just what we have.  Perhaps we could spend more time with God-whether we’re talking to Him, reading about Him, or just mindfully shifting our gaze back to Him.

Maybe it could even feel like enough.