I can see her running.  Garments catch the wind and dust billows around her sandal-ed feet.  Hair wet with sweat and bitter tears wraps her face like a shroud.  She runs until she finds what she’s looking for…a desolate and dry desert place.  A place which mirrors her very soul.  Hands on hips, she stoops to catch her breath.

Recent events play like a movie in her head.  “I was just doing my job,” she thinks.  Slave girls don’t get to choose.  “And where did this get me?  Ignored…mistreated…and pregnant.”

I feel sorry for Hagar.  And I get why she ran.  I would have done the same thing.  Truth be told, I’m really good at running too.

Genesis 16 lays out the story for us: God has promised Abram father-hood.  At a very old age nonetheless.  His wife Sarai decides to force the issue when things aren’t happening in the time she thinks they should. (Oh, hello me.)  So she gives her maid servant Hagar to Abram to bear his child.  After she conceives, scripture says her “attitude changed and she became haughty toward Sarai.”

Can you blame her?  This little servant girl was carrying Abram’s firstborn child.  In the Old Testament, the firstborn was big deal.  Perhaps she thought she had finally ‘arrived’…made a better life for herself.  No excuses for her behavior…but pride rears its ugly head in me too sometimes.

Sarai however, could not deal with Hagar’s disrespect.  I’m willing to bet jealousy and resentment also got the better of her.  She confronted her husband with the issue, but Abram is basically indifferent and reminds her that Hagar is still under her control.

Scripture doesn’t mention any other interaction between Abram and Hagar.  I have to wonder how Hagar felt…ignored?  Cast aside?  Rejected?

We learn in verse 6 that Sarai began to treat Hagar harshly.  So much so, that Hagar ran away.  This is where my imaginative interpretation of this story leaves off…

And we find Hagar sitting alone next to a spring in the desert.  The Voice tells us a “Special Messenger of the Eternal One” visited her there.  What’s also interesting, is “this special agent bears God’s unique, covenant name and speaks with divine authority in ways other messengers do not.  In fact, by what Hagar says and does next, it is clear she thinks she has encountered the Lord Himself.”  (The Voice)

Genesis 16:13 NIV
She gave this name to the LORD who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me.”

‘El Roi’ is the name she gave to the LORD.  ‘El Roi’…”The God who sees.”

And this was enough for her.  She went home and gave birth to Abram’s firstborn son, Ishmael.

I have to ask myself…is it enough for me too?  Do I feel complete knowing I am seen by my Creator?  Or am I looking to others to notice me…to affirm my worth and my place in this world?  How many times have I wanted to run (or ran for that matter) when I felt unimportant…unseen…unappreciated?

What about you, dear reader?  Have you ever wanted to quit at something because you didn’t feel you were getting the credit or recognition you felt was deserved?  My answer to that is yes, yes, and yes.

My friends, it’s human nature to want to be seen.  We want to be told we’re doing a good job.  Of course we want to feel noticed and appreciated.  But…it doesn’t always work out like that does it?  We’re all broken, imperfect people.  Even with the best of intentions, we will most certainly neglect and be neglected.

My prayer for us is that we would find soul rest in the realization that we are seen indeed.  Really seen.  Really known.  And really loved.  That we would go against our default setting to look to others for validation and acceptance.  And instead, look to the One who notices the smallest of details.

And not only does He notice.  He cares.